My mother was, for the most part, delighted with my brother and regarded him with the bemused curiosity of a brood hen discovering she has hatched a completely different species. 'I think it was very nice of Paul to give me this vase, ' she once said, arranging a bouquet of wildflowers into the skull-shaped bong my brother had left on the kitchen table. 'It's nontraditional, but that's the Rooster's way. He's a free spirit, and we're lucky to have him. . David Sedaris
I have something I need to tell you, " he says. I run my fingers along the tendons in his hands and look back at him. "I might be in love with you." He smiles a little. "I'm waiting until I'm sure to tell you,...
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Veronica Roth
I love you like a fat kid loves cake!
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Scott Adams
Love can change a person the way a parent can change a baby- awkwardly, and often with a great deal of mess.
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Lemony Snicket
When God Created Mothers"When the Good Lord was creating mothers, He was into His sixth day of "overtime" when the angel appeared and said. "You're doing a lot of fiddling around on this one." And God said, "Have you read the specs on this order?"...
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Erma Bombeck
And next time you're planning to injure yourself to get me attention, just remember that a little sweet talk works wonders.
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Cassandra Clare
More Quotes By David Sedaris
Sometimes the sins you haven't committed are all you have left to hold onto.
Everyone looks retarded once you set your mind to it.
Like all of my friends, she's a lousy judge of character.
We were not a hugging people. In terms of emotional comfort it was our belief that no amount of physical contact could match the healing powers of a well made cocktail.
